Sunday, June 6, 2010

If two people only have one thought between them, something is very wrong.

Watching the trailers for Sex and the City 2, you could already tell it’s going to be a terrible movie. From the acting, the loosely strung together “plot” and the disgustingly huge budget, anyone with two brain cells to rub together could see it would be terrible. So when my friend R perkily suggested we see it, I was less than thrilled.

Sometimes it sucks being the sudo-boyfriend.

I mean, I didn’t even get laid for this shit and that’s the real tragedy here.

However, the best way I can sum up this “film” is a lesson in overindulgence and excessiveness. Unfortunately, while they managed to be decadent with everything else, from wardrobe and exotic locations and a stupid, pointless wedding, they were unable to apply that same excess to their character development and plot.

Now, I will admit that while I didn’t “grow up” on the show, I do own every season and will admit to the guilty pleasure--to the point where I’ve seen the entire season at least three times fully and more than that individually. There was something to admire about these women--yes, even Carrie, while they all looked for love while keeping with their independence, their solid friendships and muddling through the assholes.

It’s a story most girls can relate with.

So you can imagine my disappointment when the first movie came out with it’s PG rating, pandering to middle age housewives. These were not my girls, this was not my story. A fairy tale wedding, a failed honeymoon, characatures of my favourite girls? I was not only disappointed but almost betrayed that they could take these smart, beautiful, funny and independent women and turn them into these vapid, boring creatures.

So yeah, I was less than impressed to be dragged to the next one. However, R is one of my good friends and sometimes that girlie connection is something you need every once and awhile.

Besides, I could use the karma points.

The second movie is probably only slightly better than the first, if only because my expectations were so lowered. Everything about it was too much: too long, too many stupid and pointless plot points, a stupid and needless wedding, ridiculous vacation standards (I mean, four different cars for each girl and their own butler? There’s indulgence and then there’s just stupidity)... I could probably go on.

For the first half hour I gave it my best and tried to turn my mind off and enjoy it for what it was. Surrounding us were groups of women all banded together to watch some of their favourite characters join up again on the silver screen. It would have been sweet had the bitches behind us not be total assholes when it comes to movie watching. I get it, this is the type of movie you squeal with your friends and swoon over the hot guys and drool over the fashion. You want to gab, you want to be drinking cosmos and filling every stereotype of women out there.

You’re in a movie theatre though. Grow up, get some manners and stop kicking the back of my fucking chair.


Well to get back on track...

I read a review comparing SATC2 to Star Wars, the idea that it was a vapid, effects driven, over budgeted drivel that tried to capture the same hearts that fell in love with a franchise. For the geeks out there, yes even you, this is exactly what it was. 

Another comparison I suppose, is that, like the first Star Wars (in theory at least) there was potential to do something here. It was as if there was a smart script and then it was test audience-d and dumbed down for middle America. The idea of a married couple not wanting to have kids and people's reactions to it, or that maybe being a mother isn't enough, y'know actual relationship problems (that oddly, even this twenty-two year old can relate to) were all touched upon briefly and beneath all the glitter, you could see the girls again--but then just like that, it was a cut scene and we were discussing what ridiculous anti-aging myth "kooky" Samatha was trying to attempt. 

While I wasn’t as angry as I was for both the Phantom Menace and SATC1, I suppose the only people to blame are the girls, like the vapid bitches behind me, who lapped the whole thing up with a silver spoon. The sold out shows downtown, the millions that this movie will make. I guess, like a car crash, we cannot help but watch. We know it’ll be bad, and yet they continue to make us redefine and lower that standard.

The girls may have been able to stay soul mates through bad boyfriends, cancer, babies and weddings but can they stay strong through terrible movies?

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