When I first started this blog back in---wow, back in March it would seem, it was mostly just a way to preoccupy my mind. I was in a crappy place at the time, having had my first “real” boyfriend dump me, one of my best friends and biggest supports out of the country and not a whole lot else going on. I needed a distraction, I needed an escape and while I wasn’t wanting to necessarily whine incessantly on this blog, I did want to be able to have somewhere I could write about whatever I wanted.
Writing has been something I’ve enjoyed for almost a decade now. It has been a type of therapy and allowed me to express anything that I wanted. And while my grasp of the English language is bearable at best, I do know I can get my point across and be able to articulate feelings, thoughts and all that emotionally gooey stuff that sometimes a girl needs to let out. While I may have moved from fiction to something decidedly less so, it still provides that ability to express myself in a way.
It was due to this expressive and rather intimate nature of my writing that I didn’t share it with a lot of people. Sure, there was a small, trusted group of people I did share it with, but at the end of the day a lot of people didn’t--and perhaps still don’t know that I love writing so much.
When I started this blog, there were a lot of the same feelings that sprung up. While I didn’t delve into much of the gory details of my personal life, there still was a feeling of being put on a stage. Sure, this isn’t the nitty gritty details of my sometimes messy life, but they’re still my ideas, my opinions, my views. My baby. So I kept it to myself, first because I was worried that it wouldn’t stick and also because I was scared about letting people see this side of me. As the months went by, I started to feel more comfortable about it. Proud even.
And so today, I take a bit of a risk. Sure it’s kinda been leading up to this but I posted it for the world--or more accurately, facebook to see. These are the people who I don’t necessarily let in on the nitty gritty--hell, the people I don’t necessarily talk to more than every few months. The people I know from all over, work, school, etc. I posted in the hopes of being a bit braver than I have in the past. To put myself, my work out there and see if I get any response. Sure, I know that there’s only three or so people who do read this and maybe I’ll add one more or maybe if I’m lucky, two more. Either way, it’s been time to stand behind my little piece of the internet and see what happens from here...