As January draws to a close, I can't help but feel incredibly lazy and unproductive. I've been noticing a lot of my statements, whether internal or not are often started with "Yeah, I should... " or "I need to do..." and as that inner task list grows, my motivation trickles away until the only thing on my to-do list that I ever accomplish on a weekly basis is clearing out the PVR in order to make room for the coming week's new episodes.
Yes, it's an actual chore.
I don't know how many times I've tried to craft a blog post in my head, attempted to start the dishes or work up the effort to tidy up my room or start a load of laundry. However, each time I just have an overwhelming feeling of 'meh, it can wait for another day.'
Interestingly enough, this lack of motivation and over all winter blues feeling didn't occur to me until I was reading a blog. Sure, her lack of motivation was more along the lines of becoming healthier and exercising away those extra winter/holiday pounds, however the idea behind this feeling of being buried under all these wishes and obligations really struck a chord with me.
Ironically enough, exercising may be the one thing (aside from clearing out the PVR) that I've been able to maintain these last couple of weeks.
I mean, it's no wonder so many New Year's resolutions don't last past February. The tail end of January is kinda a shitty time of the year. The holidays are over and there's a sense of withdrawal. No longer is it okay to eat your body weight in stuffing and potatoes. No longer is it socially acceptable to drink before noon. No longer are we showing our love and affection in such overwhelming materialistic ways...
The party's over people, it's time to go home.
Even if you look towards February, it's not like there's anything fun going on there. The only "holiday" and yes, I use this term EXTREMELY loosely is friggin' Valentine's day. But seriously, I'm sorry to anyone who loves it, but---it's a bunch of bullshit. Stereotypical, corporate created propaganda that makes anyone who isn't in a relationship feel bad because they're not, anyone who is in one to feel pressured to pull out the big guns and follow these bullshit "traditions" (again, playing fast and loose with these terms here) of living up to a rather dumb fantasy.
Oh plus there's those of us who are bitter and jaded who the rest of you love birds need to listen to as we get all pretentious on your ass about how stupid Valentine's day really is.
Yeah, that's something to look forward to.
So world--or the four people who read this blog and my first official follower (hi!!!!), I'm going to attempt to get myself out of this rut. Perhaps instead of looking at that large pile of dishes, I'll promise myself to do one load. Instead of watching the clock and surfing the interwebs during work, I'll actually... y'know work? (Pfft, fat chance, but there's always hope). I mean, just because these last few weeks have been littered with emotional land mines, doesn't mean the rest of the year will last this long.
Gulp. I hope.
The key right now is to focus on the things that I'm looking forward to: school, a trip to San Francisco, shopping, new love, making new friends...
I mean, before I know it, it'll be right around the corner and I'll be unprepared. Now is the time to conquer some of the basic steps.
First, blog post! Now...
Nah... but maybe I'll get around to those dishes a little later...