I was a heavy heart to carry; My beloved was weighed down

Anyone who's been through a sort of trauma knows that there's a chance of relapsing. Whether that's picking up that addiction, slipping into negative thoughts, pleading with an ex-lover... whatever the case may be, it's always a very real scenario and a very easy stumble back into a life that you just fought your way out of.

It's a little ironic I suppose, after re-reading my last blog post that everything seemed so easy, so final. The words I read there are ones from a girl with more self confidence. A girl who weathered the storm and who came on the other side. Yeah, she may be a little more scarred, a little bruised but she made it through and she was proud.

Cause I know it's going to hurt, But I like to think at least things can't get any worse.

I realize that when writing, especially on my blog, it may seem like the things, the issues or the problems I write about may get resolved a little too easily. Everything seems to wrap up in a nice little bow or with a (hopefully) witty phrase.

Our system's broken and I...I'll never vote again

Let me preface this by saying two things:

I do vote
I have very little interest in politics
This is my first attempt at writing anything about my views on politics and I expect to fuck it up a bit
This blog will never come overly political
The views in this post my come off as being naïve, uneducated or ignorant—but I’m okay with that.

I can't wait to fall in love with you; You can't wait to fall in love with me; This just can't be summer love, you'll see

With March came more rain, grey and clouds. I was honestly a little worried that this summer wouldn’t hold the same promise that the last two have managed to find.

Part of me was worried as it’s been a bumpy year that maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. Maybe there’s just too much stress, too much other things to do to bother with a fun, silly list. There were deadlines to meet, new jobs to prep for, money issues, future plans to make. How could I find the time to manage a little to-do list on top of that?

However, that silly little to-do list had become important to me. I loved the feeling of accomplishment, of having something that was purely my own and afforded me the luxury to do whatever the hell I wanted—often things I had been putting off or were too afraid to do. This was about pushing myself in odd little ways, often things that had a spirit of adventure or were personal bucket list things that I thought could be accomplished in a summer rather than a life time.

I'm another day late and one year older.

I guess this blog wouldn’t be me without me forgetting/missing my one year anniversary. I’d like to say I’m fashionably late but even that might be a bit presumptuous.

That’s right, “Bitter is the New Black”, is officially and belatedly a whole year old. Happy (belated) one year to me!

No one writes songs about the easy ones...

Relationships are hardly easy. There's usually some problems, some little wrinkles that need to be smoothed out, annoying habits you find out weeks down the road or past traumas that lurk below the surface. Rarely are you going to agree on everything, rarely is everyone going to be thrilled for you.

There's so much emotion that is wrapped up in one connection. Decisions, future plans, past flames, jealous friends, it's so easy to let things get muddled. There's sexual tension, jealousy, infatuation, anxiety, drama...

Falling in love is a leap and it requires a lot of trust to make sure the other person is there for you. And it seems to me, in these modern days, trust comes few and far between.

Just me?

Oh, well at least I have daddy issues to blame for that one. 

I know that he knows; That he wants to be my boyfriend

My boyfriend.

It's been awhile since I've had to say that. Sure, I know girls who drop the line every chance they get. 'My boyfriend this, my boyfriend that.' Yes, I get it, my jealous single self would say. You like your fucking boyfriend. Can I just give him a name? Tom does this, Bob does that.

Obviously, I haven't really been one of those people to sprinkle every conversation with tidbits of my significant other.